Sunday, 6 October 2013

Why the whole single parent thing is bollocks

So, you'll often read in the right-wing press about how "single mothers" are responsible for the whole horror that is heaped upon society. I've never bought this, and I don't now. To be feminist about it, for every single mother, there's a father who's not around. Now, this may be due to violence, death, or general not-giving-a-fuckedness, but it's really unfair to imply that women randomly get pregnant by any sperm donor going. I've read about men complaining that their pregnant exes are taking up too much of their time or wanting money for abortions, or actually expecting some kind of financial support after the squawling brat is born. Know what could save you all this stress and hassle, men? Wear one single condom. Maybe she's not on the Pill. Think about it.

I don't like children. I really don't. But that's beside the point.

My great-great-great grandma Isabella Stewart (c.1856-1901) was a single mother. In Victorian Scotland. When it was all Presbyterian and stuff. She was a Catholic, so probably didn't care what the Presbyterians thought. Most of my Catholic ancestors were either pregnant when they got married, or had children before they did so. This whole idea of "Victorian ethics" is kinda blown out the water, dontcha think? Maybe it was only Protestants who had Victorian ethics. I dunno.

Men all over the world who want to place the blame on women for their own sexual mistakes are weak, and they are cowards. People have autonomy over their own bodies first and foremost - my body is mine to do as I please with. I choose not to use it to produce children, and that's just as valid as women and men who do decide they want to bring another life in to this world. But except in very limited circumstances, such as rape, refusal to use birth control is a joint deal. It's the whole basis of mysogyny - she made me. I couldn't help it. Well I didn't think she'd get pregnant. But at the same time, women who don't want babies have an equal responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen. If you're lying about your contraception, getting pregnant to trap a man, or deliberately deceiving him to get a tiny human being who's going to puke on you a lot, then hell mend you. I'm constantly amazed at the number of adults who can't have a serious conversation about this. If you can't say the word "condom" without giggling then you're really not emotionally old enough to be having sex.

My point is, there is always a story behind everything. And this whole idea that women were chaste and pure before they got married is bollocks. I notice no such requirement has ever been placed on men. My Isabella could take your grandma any day.

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